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Grieving processes of suicide Ann Hofmann staff writer Suicide is a powerful word. It evokes powerful and often over-whelming feelings in those who identify with it. The survivors of a suicide grieve a loss like any other loss. There is, however, a stigma attached to suicide which makes it more difficult to deal with than other types of death. People often do not know how to respond to a suicide or the survivors of a suicide. Bereaved people, especially survivors, need the support, love and concern of their relatives and friends. Ray of Hope by Betsy Ross deals with grief after suicide. Persons dealing with the suicide of a loved one go through a number of stages. The first stage is questioning. Everyone wants to know why--why did it happen, why did it happen to their loved one? Mary Jones, a counselor at the Augustana Wellness Center commented, "Survivors may become obsessed with finding out why the suicide happened." People also want to know how it happened and where it happened. The second stage is shock. People do not want to believe that a suicide has happened. Grief is sometimes so painful that it is easier to deny the suicide ever happened rather than face it and deal with it. When in shock, people make statements such as "I don't believe it" and "It can't be true." Anger is the third stage identified by Ross. During this stage survivors experience fears that they cannot control. Feelings of abandonment and rejection are also common at this stage. These feelings are stronger with a suicide than with other types of death because in a suicide the person chooses to die and leave their loved ones behind. Survivors need to resolve their feelings of anger by forgiving the suicide and forgiving themselves. Guilt often follows anger. People feel responsible for the suicide of a loved one. Discussing the signs of suicide with a survivor is not helpful since the suicide is a fact. Telling a survivor that there must have been signs only lays more guilt on them. Survivors seek to purge their guilt through penance. Survivors do not need to hear "it was an accident"; they need to deal with the fact that the suicide occurred. It is not helpful or necessary to give reasons for a suicide. Remembering is another stage of the grieving process. During this stage, survivors must remember the suicide victim. These memories may be both positive and negative. The Boulder, Colorado Hospice writes that grieving survivors have a need to tell and retell and remember things about the loved one and the experience of their death. All the stages build on one another, but survivors do not always proceed through them in an orderly manner. Jones said, "Grief is not a linear process. Parents who have had a child commit suicide may be walking through the mall, and hear their son or daughters favorite song. That can throw them right back into anger and denial." Survivors often jump back and forth between one or more of the stages. A number of emotions and behaviors are associated with grief. People may cry at unexpected times. Survivors of suicide may isolate themselves. They may assume mannerisms or traits of their loved one. They may have an empty feeling in their stomach and lose their appetite. Moods may change at the slightest things. Survivors may have trouble sleeping and dream of their loved one frequently. The Boulder, Colorado Hospice states that all of these behaviors are natural and normal grief responses. It is important to cry and talk with people when one needs to do so. People need to deal with suicide and the emotions it provokes. Dealing with suicide has positive outcomes. Suicide teaches survivors forgiveness. It may increase spirituality. Suicide may give survivors a higher regard for life and greater enjoyment in being alive. According to the hospice, dealing with suicide and the grief it brings, enables people to arrive at a healthy readjustment of their lives. Survivors of Suicide is a group which deals with grieving over suicide. The group is facilitated by Jones. It meets every Thursday night from 7-8:30 p.m. at Family Service, 304 S. Phillips, Suite 300. The group is free and open to the public. People don't want advice as much as they need to air their feelings in an accepting, non-judgemental, non-patronizing atmosphere. We are able to discuss broken arms and legs --Why not broken hearts? --Eleanora "Betsy" Ross Non-violence protest leader from Middle East to speak at Augustana Middle East this evening, and lecture series. will , speak on the "Philosophy of On June 13, 1988, Palestinian nonviolence in the Middle East" leader Awad was deported from tomorrow in chapel. his homeland, Israel. Admission to the presentations Born in Jerusalem in 1943, he is open to the public and free, came to the United States in 1969 courtesy of the concert and to study. Dissatisfied with the Beth Saxvlk Staff Writer Non-violence protest leader Mubarak Awad will be speaking tonight in the Kresge Recital Hall. Awad will address peace in the treatment of the Palestinians by the Israeli government, Awad returned to his country in 1983 with an American citizenship and a strategy for a non-violent protest. He mobilized the Palestinian children to raise native flags and boycott Israeli products. He tried to get the Palestinians to live independent of the Israelis. When the Palestinian uprising in the West Bank and Gaza strip began in late 1987, the Israeli government sought to pin-point and expel the leaders. Awad was targeted as one such individual and was imprisoned. When imprisoned, he went on a hunger strike, much in the spirit of Ghandi. He was eventually expelled, but his peaceful movement continued. He came to the United States where he was the director of the Palestinian Center for Non- Violence in Washington, D.C. Dr. Larry Brendtro, education professor, met Awad when he first came to the United States. At that time, both were working at a home for juvenile delinquents in Ohio. "I knew him as someone who was very talented in working with young people--an educator," said Brendtro. Brendtro finds it interesting that it is the Palestinian youth who are now fighting in Israel. "Awad feels that it is their generation that should have their freedom," he said. It is the efforts of these children that is gaining sympathy from the rest of the world, as well as working to demoralize the Israeli army. The soldiers begin to wonder what they are doing going up against children, Brendtro said. Although many feel that Awad is hiding behind these children, it is a part of his non-violent plan. Awad cont. on page 3 index: --Building is excitement; Habitat for Humanity - page 3 - Augie students involved at Community Playhouse - page 4 --Meet Augie's record breaking quarterback - page 6
Object Description
Title | Mirror - October 19, 1989 |
Subject (LC) | Augustana College (Sioux Falls, S.D.)--Students--Newspapers |
Type | Newspaper |
Date | 1989-10-19 |
Publishing agency | Augustana College, Sioux Falls, SD, USA |
Rights | This image may not be reproduced without the express written consent of Augustana University, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, USA. |
Medium | Text |
Format - Digital | |
Language | English |
Collection | Augustana Newspapers |
Contributing Institution | Mikkelsen Library, Augustana University |
Description
Title | Page 1 |
Type | Newspaper |
Date | 1989-10-19 |
Text | Grieving processes of suicide Ann Hofmann staff writer Suicide is a powerful word. It evokes powerful and often over-whelming feelings in those who identify with it. The survivors of a suicide grieve a loss like any other loss. There is, however, a stigma attached to suicide which makes it more difficult to deal with than other types of death. People often do not know how to respond to a suicide or the survivors of a suicide. Bereaved people, especially survivors, need the support, love and concern of their relatives and friends. Ray of Hope by Betsy Ross deals with grief after suicide. Persons dealing with the suicide of a loved one go through a number of stages. The first stage is questioning. Everyone wants to know why--why did it happen, why did it happen to their loved one? Mary Jones, a counselor at the Augustana Wellness Center commented, "Survivors may become obsessed with finding out why the suicide happened." People also want to know how it happened and where it happened. The second stage is shock. People do not want to believe that a suicide has happened. Grief is sometimes so painful that it is easier to deny the suicide ever happened rather than face it and deal with it. When in shock, people make statements such as "I don't believe it" and "It can't be true." Anger is the third stage identified by Ross. During this stage survivors experience fears that they cannot control. Feelings of abandonment and rejection are also common at this stage. These feelings are stronger with a suicide than with other types of death because in a suicide the person chooses to die and leave their loved ones behind. Survivors need to resolve their feelings of anger by forgiving the suicide and forgiving themselves. Guilt often follows anger. People feel responsible for the suicide of a loved one. Discussing the signs of suicide with a survivor is not helpful since the suicide is a fact. Telling a survivor that there must have been signs only lays more guilt on them. Survivors seek to purge their guilt through penance. Survivors do not need to hear "it was an accident"; they need to deal with the fact that the suicide occurred. It is not helpful or necessary to give reasons for a suicide. Remembering is another stage of the grieving process. During this stage, survivors must remember the suicide victim. These memories may be both positive and negative. The Boulder, Colorado Hospice writes that grieving survivors have a need to tell and retell and remember things about the loved one and the experience of their death. All the stages build on one another, but survivors do not always proceed through them in an orderly manner. Jones said, "Grief is not a linear process. Parents who have had a child commit suicide may be walking through the mall, and hear their son or daughters favorite song. That can throw them right back into anger and denial." Survivors often jump back and forth between one or more of the stages. A number of emotions and behaviors are associated with grief. People may cry at unexpected times. Survivors of suicide may isolate themselves. They may assume mannerisms or traits of their loved one. They may have an empty feeling in their stomach and lose their appetite. Moods may change at the slightest things. Survivors may have trouble sleeping and dream of their loved one frequently. The Boulder, Colorado Hospice states that all of these behaviors are natural and normal grief responses. It is important to cry and talk with people when one needs to do so. People need to deal with suicide and the emotions it provokes. Dealing with suicide has positive outcomes. Suicide teaches survivors forgiveness. It may increase spirituality. Suicide may give survivors a higher regard for life and greater enjoyment in being alive. According to the hospice, dealing with suicide and the grief it brings, enables people to arrive at a healthy readjustment of their lives. Survivors of Suicide is a group which deals with grieving over suicide. The group is facilitated by Jones. It meets every Thursday night from 7-8:30 p.m. at Family Service, 304 S. Phillips, Suite 300. The group is free and open to the public. People don't want advice as much as they need to air their feelings in an accepting, non-judgemental, non-patronizing atmosphere. We are able to discuss broken arms and legs --Why not broken hearts? --Eleanora "Betsy" Ross Non-violence protest leader from Middle East to speak at Augustana Middle East this evening, and lecture series. will , speak on the "Philosophy of On June 13, 1988, Palestinian nonviolence in the Middle East" leader Awad was deported from tomorrow in chapel. his homeland, Israel. Admission to the presentations Born in Jerusalem in 1943, he is open to the public and free, came to the United States in 1969 courtesy of the concert and to study. Dissatisfied with the Beth Saxvlk Staff Writer Non-violence protest leader Mubarak Awad will be speaking tonight in the Kresge Recital Hall. Awad will address peace in the treatment of the Palestinians by the Israeli government, Awad returned to his country in 1983 with an American citizenship and a strategy for a non-violent protest. He mobilized the Palestinian children to raise native flags and boycott Israeli products. He tried to get the Palestinians to live independent of the Israelis. When the Palestinian uprising in the West Bank and Gaza strip began in late 1987, the Israeli government sought to pin-point and expel the leaders. Awad was targeted as one such individual and was imprisoned. When imprisoned, he went on a hunger strike, much in the spirit of Ghandi. He was eventually expelled, but his peaceful movement continued. He came to the United States where he was the director of the Palestinian Center for Non- Violence in Washington, D.C. Dr. Larry Brendtro, education professor, met Awad when he first came to the United States. At that time, both were working at a home for juvenile delinquents in Ohio. "I knew him as someone who was very talented in working with young people--an educator," said Brendtro. Brendtro finds it interesting that it is the Palestinian youth who are now fighting in Israel. "Awad feels that it is their generation that should have their freedom," he said. It is the efforts of these children that is gaining sympathy from the rest of the world, as well as working to demoralize the Israeli army. The soldiers begin to wonder what they are doing going up against children, Brendtro said. Although many feel that Awad is hiding behind these children, it is a part of his non-violent plan. Awad cont. on page 3 index: --Building is excitement; Habitat for Humanity - page 3 - Augie students involved at Community Playhouse - page 4 --Meet Augie's record breaking quarterback - page 6 |
Collection | Augustana Newspapers |
Contributing Institution | Mikkelsen Library, Augustana University |