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Fagastana College Foo Foo Falls, West Dakota Vol. Unknown, No. Yes October 31, 1793 ;155 Zaded Mere- Vidliatt Vaegalt .Suit Faculty, Administration, Staff Fail In Move To Raise Fagastana Spirits AiffeA USE students observing the spectable of Big Al Hots turn to watch the Vermillion Fire Department approach on its way to rescue Hots. Despite the demoralizing effect on the USE team the raid failed to produce a Faggie win at the big game. (Photo by Mario Candid) by Mary Christmas and Ruth Byline The ASS had its regular 2'/z minute meeting last Sunday night. Bob Bell called the meeting to order precisely 35.35 minutes late. The late start was due to the fact that the ASS could not get a quorum to attend. First order of business was the announcement by Bruce Flat that Big Loser's Entertainment (BLE) had been resurrected. Flat said, "Bob and I enjoyed the recent Homeleaving concert so much that we decided to book another group immediately. We hadn't screamed that much in ten years, and although we were horse for a week, the concert was well worth it." The Osmands have been booked for a con-cert in mid-November. During the last 30 seconds of the meeting President Bell an-nounced that the Fagastana Smirror had won its suit against the ASS. The ASS now owes the Smirror $30 million. The suit was filed by the Smirror staff because the ASS has persistently harrassed the staff by walking off with the paper cutter. Bell said that the $30 million, plus the $1,368,119.68 the ASS agreed to pay USE after the faculty raid, should make a debt that would be good for a few years. Said Bell, "The debt will be something our children can remember us by." There was no discussion on the matter. At this point Bob Pollens called for adjournment, and the entire council abstained on the issue. Bell announced that there would be a fun time after the meeting, and so the adjournment issue was brought up again and passed. At the fun time the announcement of the winners of the Fagastana Impressionists Contest was made. Phil Korpse walked off with the unanimous first place vote. Second place was a tie between Dave Littlehog and Ruth Byline. The fun time lasted until 5 a.m. at which time everyone got up and went home. Debators Take FAG Trophy Last week the Fagastana faculty, staff and administration got together to improve the spirit at Faggie. The task force led by Dr. Charlie Wallsir college presi-dent, (Uncle Chuck to those of us in the know) traveled to the USE at Vermillion campus and proceeded to play tricks on USE. With remarkable courage the force, which included Billy (Math) Hews, Laud Fick, Jean Autrey Hellen, Els:'e Help, Lori Mundtson, Big Al Hots, Lucy D-ixsell, Doretta Hugebow, Harry Kreaker, and Mel Crime, invaded the USE campus. Under cover of darkness and fog, and armed with toilet paper, water balloons and obscene signs the forst started their mission at the Student Union where they sabatoged all doors with water balloons. They then cut off all the dormatories with the same procedure. Lucy Dixsell spread tacks in all the parking lots while the rest of the task force at-tached toilet paper to the trees at USE. Officials began to get suspicious when they noticed that the attack force was not dressed in what they considered a normal manner (even for USE students). Yes, our leaders at Faggie had made one tactical error. They all dressed in tin foil, in hopes that of helium balloons the Faggie USE people would think them from outer space and therefore be terrified. However, students delayed the task force by trying to communicate with them, which even Faggie students have a hard time doing and the Force was spotted by officials in the Student Union. After a chase scene in which the cask force es-caped by floating off the roof of the Student Union with the help Charlie Ballsir spirit team was stymied when the escape vehicle, Clara Fee's Volks, suffered four flat, tires from the tacked parking lots. The task force was lectured by USE president Richard Bone, and was allowed to return to Fagastana after the Vermillion Fire Dept. rescued Big Al Hots, who refused to come down from a tree after a branch ripped off his tin foil ensemble. The USE officials hired needy Cryotes profs to clean up the tricks of the task force at $3 a minute and the resulting bill came to $1,368,119.68 (this in-cludes the doctor's bill for removing tacks from the profs feet, since the profs, as faculty everywhere, were too poor to af-ford shoes). A.S.S.President Bob Bell call-ed the action the most childish thing he had ever haard of but the A.S.S. Council agreed to pay the bill out of the A.S.S. mis-cellaneous fund provided the Task Force agreed to give the students 24 hr. open dorms. Bell said that "this is something so foolish that Faggis students would never do anything like this." Ego- Notes By Quad Alpha It has become quite apparent to the members of this group that Faggie needs some clean-up work done. We have become in-creasingly disturbed. by the long (Continued by Page 2) The Fagastana Debate Team returned from its recent trip to Zambia and the Forensics Association Games (FAG). At the games the team was the winner of six gold medals, two bronze, and one booby prize. Barb Presdown was the winner of a gold medal in the original oratory competition. Her topic was "The Effect of the Study of World Literature on the Nerves." Larry Shyly presented an oral interpretation of "Old Mac-donald Goes to the Moon" to capture the gold medal. Bronze medal winner in the same divi-sion was Dave Littlehog with his interpretation of "The Life and Times of Bob Bell." Steve Singer and Steve Mellow shared the gold medal honors in the debate tourna-ment. They had a total record of 5 wins and no losses. Their topic was "Desolved: Raquel Welch is a Sex Symbol." Strangely enough, Singer and Mellow never had to debate against the issue. In the coaches competition Jerry Window walked off with the first prize for Fagastana He presented a public address 'en-titled "Coaching: Is it Wirth It?" In the final category in which Faggie Scored a victory was the extemporaneous speaking con-test. Dave The Lap won the gold medal for the topic "Rain is Good for the Grass." Bronze medal in this division was Deb Sitdown for the topic "Was Ole Really a Pirate?" The only other award won by Faggie was the all-around booby prize which was carried off by Jon (Math) Hews. He entered his same entry, "The Life and Times of Geoffrey Chaucer" in every event. However, he neglected to translate his speech into modern English and none of the judges could understand him. They thought he was swear-ing at them and awarded him the booby prize. Overall, Faggie won the FAG all-around high-scoring team trophy. Congratulations, team! The SMIRROR dis-avows any knowledge of the writers and articles of this publication. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. Any similarity to real persons or places is purely in-tentional.
Object Description
Title | Mirror - October 31, 1973 |
Subject (LC) | Augustana College (Sioux Falls, S.D.)--Students--Newspapers |
Type | Newspaper |
Date | 1973-10-31 |
Publishing agency | Augustana College, Sioux Falls, SD, USA |
Rights | This image may not be reproduced without the express written consent of Augustana University, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, USA. |
Medium | Text |
Format - Digital | |
Language | English |
Collection | Augustana Newspapers |
Contributing Institution | Mikkelsen Library, Augustana University |
Description
Title | Page 1 |
Type | Newspaper |
Date | 1973-10-31 |
Text | Fagastana College Foo Foo Falls, West Dakota Vol. Unknown, No. Yes October 31, 1793 ;155 Zaded Mere- Vidliatt Vaegalt .Suit Faculty, Administration, Staff Fail In Move To Raise Fagastana Spirits AiffeA USE students observing the spectable of Big Al Hots turn to watch the Vermillion Fire Department approach on its way to rescue Hots. Despite the demoralizing effect on the USE team the raid failed to produce a Faggie win at the big game. (Photo by Mario Candid) by Mary Christmas and Ruth Byline The ASS had its regular 2'/z minute meeting last Sunday night. Bob Bell called the meeting to order precisely 35.35 minutes late. The late start was due to the fact that the ASS could not get a quorum to attend. First order of business was the announcement by Bruce Flat that Big Loser's Entertainment (BLE) had been resurrected. Flat said, "Bob and I enjoyed the recent Homeleaving concert so much that we decided to book another group immediately. We hadn't screamed that much in ten years, and although we were horse for a week, the concert was well worth it." The Osmands have been booked for a con-cert in mid-November. During the last 30 seconds of the meeting President Bell an-nounced that the Fagastana Smirror had won its suit against the ASS. The ASS now owes the Smirror $30 million. The suit was filed by the Smirror staff because the ASS has persistently harrassed the staff by walking off with the paper cutter. Bell said that the $30 million, plus the $1,368,119.68 the ASS agreed to pay USE after the faculty raid, should make a debt that would be good for a few years. Said Bell, "The debt will be something our children can remember us by." There was no discussion on the matter. At this point Bob Pollens called for adjournment, and the entire council abstained on the issue. Bell announced that there would be a fun time after the meeting, and so the adjournment issue was brought up again and passed. At the fun time the announcement of the winners of the Fagastana Impressionists Contest was made. Phil Korpse walked off with the unanimous first place vote. Second place was a tie between Dave Littlehog and Ruth Byline. The fun time lasted until 5 a.m. at which time everyone got up and went home. Debators Take FAG Trophy Last week the Fagastana faculty, staff and administration got together to improve the spirit at Faggie. The task force led by Dr. Charlie Wallsir college presi-dent, (Uncle Chuck to those of us in the know) traveled to the USE at Vermillion campus and proceeded to play tricks on USE. With remarkable courage the force, which included Billy (Math) Hews, Laud Fick, Jean Autrey Hellen, Els:'e Help, Lori Mundtson, Big Al Hots, Lucy D-ixsell, Doretta Hugebow, Harry Kreaker, and Mel Crime, invaded the USE campus. Under cover of darkness and fog, and armed with toilet paper, water balloons and obscene signs the forst started their mission at the Student Union where they sabatoged all doors with water balloons. They then cut off all the dormatories with the same procedure. Lucy Dixsell spread tacks in all the parking lots while the rest of the task force at-tached toilet paper to the trees at USE. Officials began to get suspicious when they noticed that the attack force was not dressed in what they considered a normal manner (even for USE students). Yes, our leaders at Faggie had made one tactical error. They all dressed in tin foil, in hopes that of helium balloons the Faggie USE people would think them from outer space and therefore be terrified. However, students delayed the task force by trying to communicate with them, which even Faggie students have a hard time doing and the Force was spotted by officials in the Student Union. After a chase scene in which the cask force es-caped by floating off the roof of the Student Union with the help Charlie Ballsir spirit team was stymied when the escape vehicle, Clara Fee's Volks, suffered four flat, tires from the tacked parking lots. The task force was lectured by USE president Richard Bone, and was allowed to return to Fagastana after the Vermillion Fire Dept. rescued Big Al Hots, who refused to come down from a tree after a branch ripped off his tin foil ensemble. The USE officials hired needy Cryotes profs to clean up the tricks of the task force at $3 a minute and the resulting bill came to $1,368,119.68 (this in-cludes the doctor's bill for removing tacks from the profs feet, since the profs, as faculty everywhere, were too poor to af-ford shoes). A.S.S.President Bob Bell call-ed the action the most childish thing he had ever haard of but the A.S.S. Council agreed to pay the bill out of the A.S.S. mis-cellaneous fund provided the Task Force agreed to give the students 24 hr. open dorms. Bell said that "this is something so foolish that Faggis students would never do anything like this." Ego- Notes By Quad Alpha It has become quite apparent to the members of this group that Faggie needs some clean-up work done. We have become in-creasingly disturbed. by the long (Continued by Page 2) The Fagastana Debate Team returned from its recent trip to Zambia and the Forensics Association Games (FAG). At the games the team was the winner of six gold medals, two bronze, and one booby prize. Barb Presdown was the winner of a gold medal in the original oratory competition. Her topic was "The Effect of the Study of World Literature on the Nerves." Larry Shyly presented an oral interpretation of "Old Mac-donald Goes to the Moon" to capture the gold medal. Bronze medal winner in the same divi-sion was Dave Littlehog with his interpretation of "The Life and Times of Bob Bell." Steve Singer and Steve Mellow shared the gold medal honors in the debate tourna-ment. They had a total record of 5 wins and no losses. Their topic was "Desolved: Raquel Welch is a Sex Symbol." Strangely enough, Singer and Mellow never had to debate against the issue. In the coaches competition Jerry Window walked off with the first prize for Fagastana He presented a public address 'en-titled "Coaching: Is it Wirth It?" In the final category in which Faggie Scored a victory was the extemporaneous speaking con-test. Dave The Lap won the gold medal for the topic "Rain is Good for the Grass." Bronze medal in this division was Deb Sitdown for the topic "Was Ole Really a Pirate?" The only other award won by Faggie was the all-around booby prize which was carried off by Jon (Math) Hews. He entered his same entry, "The Life and Times of Geoffrey Chaucer" in every event. However, he neglected to translate his speech into modern English and none of the judges could understand him. They thought he was swear-ing at them and awarded him the booby prize. Overall, Faggie won the FAG all-around high-scoring team trophy. Congratulations, team! The SMIRROR dis-avows any knowledge of the writers and articles of this publication. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. Any similarity to real persons or places is purely in-tentional. |
Collection | Augustana Newspapers |
Contributing Institution | Mikkelsen Library, Augustana University |